Well, here it is nearly Xmas again – so thought you might like to see how Katz is spending his holidays…
Also, seems that Department of Homeland Security Elf, Etsuko is working as a Santa’s helper this year – or perhaps the management just felt that they needed an enforcer to keep the kids in line…
And now, due to popular request, by no one in particular, once again we present:
Twas the day after Xmas, the place was a wreck,
We’d partied all night, ’cause hey, what the heck?!?
I was hung over, I’d been thoroughly soused…
I blearily looked ’round – hoped it wasn’t my house!
Then what did my half bloodshot ears – hear up top,
but the tipsy hoof steps of a reindeer clip clop…
Yes, there on the roof, snookered out of his mind,
was Santa and reindeer (they’d gotten into the wine!)
“Get off the roof you old soak!” I yelled with a shout,
He hiccuped and belched – then threw up, down the drain spout…
His nose, red with spirits – it was quite a fright,
His sleigh full of presents – undelivered last night…
“Merry Xshamsh” he garbled – (the old dissipate)
“Move along” I shouted – “You’re here a day late!”
Then he flopped into his sleigh – hiccuped, “Never Fear,
I’ll deliver these presh-ents, come Xmashhh next year!”
“On Dogbreath, on Blitzkrieg, on Whazzisname an’ Whosziss,
Let’s find us a Bar – I need some more boozis!”
They leapt to the air – clipped a lamp pole or two,
The Sleigh did a barrel roll – an’ soared off into the blue…
…I heard Santa call out, as he flew out of sight:
“Get schmashed for Xmas everyone! An’ for new years get tight! *Hiccup*”
Nice poem! And poor Santa – still, the Elf has a nice rack…
Aw gee… How endearing to see that li’l Katz still retains his childlike faith in Santa, the magic of Christmas and the Total Obliteration of Dirtkind…
There was a comment from “DoubleW” which I inadvertently deleted (actually the whole page was deleted and reposted) so here it is verbatim:
WW: Aw gee… How endearing to see that li’l Katz still retains his childlike faith in Santa, the magic of Christmas and the Total Obliteration of Dirtkind…
A neutron bomb? Do we still make those? Talk about a blast from the past. A Hound Dog missile? Katz has access to the internet. It’s the only way he would know about a missile that was deactivated in ’75. Etsuko just looks thrilled to be there. Bunz probably slipped her a sawbuck to take her place for the day so she could go out and plan some imminent total global destruction. Soon dirtlings. Very soon. Doom shall come to you!
Ah yes, the Hound Dog… They are damnear as old as my service record! Goofy-looking air-laiunched cruise-type jet missile. Too slow for wartime use these days, but maybe you could use them in a fireworks show.
Wasn’t that about the same time that Elvis was in the service?
Well, no… “GI Blues” came out while I was still in high school. But the Hound Dog only came on duty when I did, which was 1960. Elvis was probably busy counting his film royalties by then.
For whatever it’s worth, Katz only mentioned the “Hound Dog” as it went with “Hotdog”… I’d actually had in mind the Loon JB-2 missile, which was a US knock-off of the V1 Buzz Bomb – but the “Hound Dog” fit the patter better…
Presley was drafted in March of ’58 and served until March of ’60. The Hound Dog missile was developed in ’59 and deployed in ’60. Coincidence? I think not. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
Hmmm. That’s a very interesting and plausible idea… any conspiracy buffs among us might start examining the lyrics of the song for hidden messages or technological details…
The Defense Department doubtlessly has some like wish list, as they report than less than half their airplanes can even be trusted to get off the ground, let alone fight. Even those that don’t like war, don’t like this situation. Since an adversary that doesn’t think that you can fight, [and] has a bone to pick with you, might decide to test the perception. It took years to become depleted. It might take like years to correct it. Perhaps make more weapons [OR !!!] maybe tick fewer people off. If the latter is even in our DNA.
Eh? “less than half the aircraft in our Military can even be trusted to get off the ground”??? Unless you’re also counting in the half cannibalized planes in the Davis-Monthan AFB Arizona boneyard, this seems a less than likely figure! Might I ask where you heard it from?
Do a Google search using the phrase “how many military aircraft can even fly”. That generates a good long list of articles. The first one was “Navy strike fighter jets: Two-thirds currently can’t fly — CNN Politics”.
Yes it was a statement from Trump reported on Fox News, that we have a few things in the military that need fixing. To some extent you could say that he’s looking for another thing to gain bragging rights on. But then again [truth is truth]. The previous guy let important matters go down hill. No ifs ands or buts about it.
Okay, did that… the articles seem to be about specifically the F-35 overpriced turkey and Maintenance problems with Navy F-18 Hornets – and not all Military Aircraft… Even so, if these numbers are factual, that would be somewhat concerning…
At any given moment, a certain number of a squadron’s aircraft will be down for maintenance… Most of these will be repaired in a matter of hours, while some may take longer if requiring something major, like an unscheduled engine replacement, and a few can become “Hanger Queens”… Also, a certain number of aircraft will be at NARF (Naval Air Refit Facility) for very serious maintenance, though I have no idea what the proper percentages for that would be…
As a rule of thumb, anything that the Trump tweets should automatically be regarded as either a Lie, Ill Informed or just Stupid Bluster! The odds that he might Tweet something factual are so small as to be disregarded…
Against 17 or arguably 18 better politicians the obviously non-politician won out. So other than maybe 3 million illegal aliens (an exception being Bunz) that got a California driver’s license (and entered the voter rolls) — the bulk of fly over country voted for him rather than her. Matters of lies are frustrating until time after time the New York cabby in office seems to come out right. We either need new jets and such or we don’t.
Ah… Correction, Hillary won the popular vote! The majority of those who voted did Not vote for Trump!
As for “Illegal Aliens voting”, that’s “Fake News” spewed out by GOP Disinformation Pundits… California doesn’t need Illegal Alien votes to be a blue state – the last GOP Prez candidate who won California was Reagan and he’d been governor here (a rotten one) but still he was considered a “Native Son” so to speak…
The state of California made a unique statement, when Big T asked a zealot from Kansas to go voter by voter through the voting roles to check the Constitutional requirement that they were all at least US citizens. There was some technical excuse of course. But mainly the state of California went Saint Paul type theological as their main defense, as in “we know what we know”.
Ah… I’d thought that we were discussing aircraft serviceability… But in any case, voter registration is a matter for state governments, “zealots from Kansas” (whomever that may be), don’t get a say in the matter…
In any case, purging the voter registration lists of people of color is more a GOP red state machination, in order to make it difficult as possible for non-white citizens to vote – or to make certain that their vote won’t be counted by forcing them to use “Provisional Ballots”… That is, without making voting actually illegal for them, because of course the GOP can’t do that, even if they’d like to…
I guess old Obama couldn’t do that particular sin against his fellow Chicago politican’s for the technical reason of being black himself. Or that it only counts as a sin when done against rank and file voters — not the people being voted on. Helps to be top in your class in law school to master these fine details.
Bill, you seem to just be fishing around for ways to gripe about former Prez Obama… You do realize that he’s no longer in office and not an issue, don’t you??
I’m fairly certain that there are knock Obama message boards somewhere out on the web – my suggestion is that you find one and post your screeds there, as this is not really the place for them!
Oh yes, there is also that half helicopter half plane that the Marines like the Osprey. We have got the big stuff like with the Triad, that Trump was a little bored with during the debates. His thinking was that if he had to press the Red Button, that super-over-kill dooms-day devices guarantee such an out-come that business as usual no longer matters — thus why waste so much as even an ounce of gray matter on it. Basically that’s the obvious truth — once the button is pushed. The public saw through the pointless sophism (and ooh, and ah’s) attached technology attached to the button. Blow them all up in storage pens — same basic outcome, without any Triad nonsense, or secret codes. Was Trump the liar? Did he compose all that meaningless stuff? Or — did he merely make us think about it?
There is a certain FBI guy in the center of nearly everything. If we the public made the incredible mistake of voting for Trump (he had “An insurance policy”). No way do the details of the Deep State insurance policy not make it to the public record. Some lying, misinformation and stupid bluster were done to Trump by the most powerful law agency on the planet. This was not at all like Efrim Zimblus(?) Jr.
Yeah, the “Deep State” is probably Georgia… buried so deep in the past that it’ll probably never see daylight again… While Alabama has shown totally unexpected evidence of dawning awareness…
Josh, good point about anti-O boards. And yes some things are yesterday’s news. All true. But did you notice that less than one day after we traded barbs about illegal aliens voting or not in California — that a judge threw out with a degree of strong rejection the challenge of states that the Fed’s could not examine the voter roles. So that is still definitely in play. Like Katz I might enjoy a bit of pop corn watching what happens.
Eh… No I hadn’t – I’m not really that concerned about it… If you’re worried that Trump lost California because of any notional illegal alien vote, that’s just silly!! And now that the recently passed GOP tax bill has proven so biased against the blue states, it’s fairly certain that he won’t have a prayer of Californians voting for him in any reelection attempt!
I find the 3 million illegal voters thing amusing. Have you ever worked as an election judge or clerk? I have -we get pretty familiar with the people who vote in our precinct. Even if you could spread 3,000,000 people over – say – ten thousand precincts all over the US – you would still have 300 previously unseen voters popping up per precinct – I think we would notice.
174,252 election precincts and 113,754 polling places in the 2004 US election. That’s about 20 per polling place or 17 per precinct – if you were to assume an even distribution across the nation.
No Josh I have no allusions about Trump winning California. Just the shrill boast about C getting 3 M votes over T. I definitely think that boast can go up in a puff of smoke if the voter rolls are actually checked for the citizenship requirement — as the Constitution demands. You see the argument is that the election would have went the other way if we changed the law and used the popular vote. (I agree with that thought on the Bush vs Gore vote. I wanted Gore.) However, as California is a special place, where it is all but impossible for an illegal alien to get in the least trouble [if] they did vote contrary to Constitutional requirements — I think many of them did. If I were in their shoes — it would without any doubt be a big temptation for me.
Der… tell me about the bunnies again, George….
What the hell. In for a penny, in for a pound.
Sheesh! This is the type of article which makes my eyes glaze over! However, to quote from it verbatim – “In this 2008 survey of 32,800 respondents, 339 identified themselves as non-citizens, and 38 of these non-citizens checked a box that said “I definitely voted” in the 2008 general election or were recorded in the Catalist database as voting in that election. At face value, this means that 11.2% (38/339) of non-citizens voted in the 2008 election.”
Soooo…… from 38 people who identified themselves as voting non-citizens, the numbers were extrapolated up into Thousands and then potentially millions… All from 38 people… It seems to myself that you need a much larger base of data in order to make any meaningful guess as to what the true number of voting non-citizens may be… If you don’t have any real data, then guesses are basically meaningless – no matter how you might try to disguise them with statistics!!
For whatever it’s worth, I do not feel that Illegal Aliens should be allowed to vote! However, enforcing this falls outside of my job description as a Cartoonist…
The article does not support Trump and the far right screaming that 3 million illegals voted in the election. Nor does it airily and scornfully dismiss the possibility as do so many on the far left. If this was the Mythbusters they would merely say it’s plausible.
I don’t doubt that possibly some illegals do vote in US elections – but in a nation of 323 million and growing, the data derived from 38 people is so close to Nothing as it makes no difference!!! It might as well be Zero people polled and they just made up the results, it would have the same validity!
The data was derived from 32,800 respondents of whom 339 identified themselves as non-citizens and 38 of these said that they voted. 38,000 is actually quite a large sample. Other studies and surveys are done in this manner and companies and election committees pay a lot of money for them.
Yes, I already quoted those numbers – but it’s the 38 that were extrapolated into “Thousands” or even “Millions” who potentially voted and we don’t even know if those 38 really did vote or perhaps were they Trolling the pollsters??
I say that 38 people out of a nation of 323 million plus, is a meaninglessly small number! There may be illegals voting, but this poll proves nothing!
Well jeeze Josh, it’s easy to win an argument when you can dismiss evidence with a hand wave.
“Your evidence is not valid”
My evidence is not valid.
“It does not mean what you think it means.”
It doesn’t mean what I think it means.
Assuming that the thing is factual, you still only have 38 people who claim to have voted illegally… This is NOT “Millions” it’s 38 people!! You’re like Joe McCarthy waving a paper and saying, “I have a list of hundreds of communists in government!” but there was nothing on his paper!
What I’m saying is, if there is evidence of hundreds or even thousands of illegal aliens voting, this is not it – Like Joe, you’ve got nothing!
Do the little things we do or don’t matter in the big scheme of things? Just maybe we don’t rationalize that we have the power (within us) to turn on or off a war. But then again have we ever tried?
A lesser thing (maybe). But within our power. Is to take a War Vet off the street, with not a dime, with zero hope, and but rags on his body — and change things. If he doesen’t have say his DD-214 (lost or destroyed) simply go though the little effort to obtain it. Pay his room rent and bus fair. Deal with his rough friends. And get him into the VA and the VFW — and the Church. All little things true. But little things do matter. Hope for the bigger things later.
“Trolling”. You use that term a lot, as in “trolling the pollsters”. If so common, as in the British “bloody this” or “bloody that”, what was a dreaded term that made people wince in pain — becomes almost a meaningless adjective. Shock value rather gone, and not returning, at least for the British term.
Josh, you point out that there are easily 323 million of us. If each did merely as I did (and I’m not all that special — at least by some measure) we would surely run out of people that are freezing to death under bridges. Suggestion: resolve to be non-cynical every so often, and test the idea that you do matter. What would it really hurt you in that case to find out that you were wrong?
Um… if I were an “illegal alien” and I saw the national attitude toward illegal alins making a turn to the hard right, with families being broken up, DREAMers shipped off into countries they didn’t remember and had no connections with, and ICE tossing people (even unaccompanied fugitive minors) into what are essentially concentration camps, do you think I’d do anything at all that might possibly draw official attention to me? Such as attempting to vote in the recent presidential election?
DoubleW, sure you would. At least you would if this ICE had deported you more than once. Was otherwise a constant worry. Were in jail or prison (by new published government statistics) for drugs and other matters, way more often than the base population of actual citizen criminals. Not just merely by proportion — but just in raw numbers. That false mantra saying of “bleeding heart liberals” that actually illegal aliens are far more law abiding per person than all the rest of us — went “poof”. You would vote in a state all but breaking away from the union — over the basic issue of becoming a so-called “Sanctuary State”. Use Google to look up the following article, “California lawmakers approve landmark ‘sanctuary state’ bill to expand protections for immigrants”. This was in the Dec. 31, 2017 “Los Angeles Times”. No, DoubleW you’d get your driver’s license, get on the voters roll with it, and vote for the sympathetic candidate rather than the one wanting to make a 30 foot tall concrete wall. Not such a thing to joke about if ICE deports you yet one more time. [You try real hard not to think about what the Coyotaje charged you last time there was transit across the burning dessert or stuffed in a nearly air-less big rig truck.] You know as fact with a 30 foot wall and a lot more security — the price is going to go way, way up. So DoubleW, with that on the line — how could you not sign up to vote?
Everyone, everywhere, wants to do what is right with the so-called DREAMers — including Trump.
NAME — Get a Gravatar
©2012-2018 Josua Quagmire | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress
| Subscribe: RSS
| Back to Top ↑