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I feel so outclassed when it comes to Humor these days… Have any of you been following the North Korean Nuclear Talks Farce?
First Chump and Kim Jong-un met and signed a paper that obligates North Korea to basically nothing, while the Chump press announced the end of North Korea’s nuclear program…
But now, only weeks later, as it becomes obvious that Rocket Boy has no intentions of shutting down his nuclear program, Sec. Pompeo is sent for more talks…
A White House press statement results, claiming progress made – while the North Koreans do their own press release saying that Sec. Pompeo is full of swamp gas!
Then turns out that even the Chump story of giving Kim Jong-un an Elton John CD was a lie as well!!!
This is like a Marx Brothers routine! I give up, How can I top that?!?
Ahh, but you forget… Der Rump also promised Li’l Kim that the US and South Korea would stop holding their annual joint war games, intended to maintain preparedness for the invasion that North Korea has been threatening for the past half-century… Meanwhilst, there’s no indication that North Korea has been reducing their own huge military buildup along the DMZ, in eternal readiness for launching said invasion… At least “Duck Soup” was make-believe…
Read between the lines fellows. Little Kim announced to us his intent (at the time) to shut off our electrical grid with an EMP effect. He would in that case not have to prove that his re-entry shield would probably work, as the weapon would be used while in space. But then (leaving out the details) the hundreds of tons each of reactor contents, for our 100 nuclear power plants, would cloud the entire earth in a high level radiation field — killing a great fraction of even the earth. Trump likely conveyed to Kim, that the choice was for him to join normal nations or be preemptively converted to a parking lot. That simple. And that effective an argument.
Any weak words from the North Koreans, won’t alter what Trump privately said. Their war hawks, rather like our war hawks would want to conserve their assets. But that’s quite impossible. Likewise China wants to have total control of the South China Sea, and continue ripping off our trade imbalance. But that’s much more fragile than it might appear. Trump knows, from his business sense, when he holds all the winning cards in his hands. Nope. Every move from Korea AND China too will go exactly as he predetermined it. The mind that planed this is of quite a high level. He only [lets] his foes think that they have any options of their own. Or else it woulden’t be entertaining. The whole nation has become a sort of reality TV program. Most haven’t figured that out yet.
Your problem Bill, is you lack a sense of humor… Just think about my basic premise, If it were a Marx brothers skit, “A Night at the Coconutz Operetta,” then Chump & Kim’s secret meeting might have gone something like this…
As Chump-o enters the conference room, Kim-o is already there, playing a piano, he stands up to shake hands…
Kim-o: “Hey big guy, you’a look just’a like someone I know…”
Chump-o: “Oh? A friend of yours?”
Kim-o: “I don’ta think so… He’sa real stinker!”
Chump-o: “Can’t be me then…”
Kim-o: “ahh… I don’ta know… You’a sure look’a like him…”
Chump-o: “Listen up everyone, clear the room, this is a private summit, a really really private conference between heads of state… You over there, Amscray!”
Kim-o: “Why’a no Duck?”
Chump-o: “a Duck… What???”
Kim-o: “That’a guy over there, he’sa Moon lu Duck, he’sa shine my shoes.”
Chump-o: Tell him to go, this conference is just between you an’ me! Mano a mano – or whatever you are…”
Kim-o: (shrugs) “Beat it Duck!”
Chump-o: “Okay, now this is a really really great deal – I give you this Elton John CD and a case of Moon Pies, then we both sign this paper and do the photo opp…”
Kim-o: “Hokay Prez guy, I’a take’a the Moon Pies, but why’a No Nukes?”
Chump-o: “We’re not playing ask me another, we have a photo opp to do…”
Kim-o: “Atsa fine, but why’a No Nukes?”
Chump-o: “You already did that gag with Duck! Look, just sign the thing, it doesn’t mean anything, I just need some good PR to impress the illiterate Yahoos back home who voted for me… Everybody else hates me, all the Fake News except Faux, my foreign policy sucks, I’ve pissed off all our allies, and all those corrupt appointees I put into office are making me look bad… Can’t you just sign the paper?”
Kim-o “I’a understand… I’m not’a so popular myself, an’ you, even I don’t a like! So whatza this paper thing you gotta there?”
Chump-o: “Just read it…”
Kim-o: “Do I look’a like I can read’a the english? Whatza that part say?”
Chump-o: “It just says, the party of the first part…”
Kim-o: “Ahhh… I dont’a know… I don’t a like that’a part…”
Chump-o: “Which part?”
Kim-o: “The first party part!”
Chump-o: “Well, you should have been at the party I had in the Hotel last night – good thing there was no press coverage of that! But if you don’t like this part, then we’ll rip it right out!” (Ripping SFX) “Then it goes on to say, the party of the second part…”
Kim-o: “No, No, No, I don’t a like’a that party either!”
Chump-o: “You really are a party poop! But okay, I’ll rip that out too…” (Ripping SFX) “Now is my word good enough for you?”
Kim-o: “I should say not!”
Chump-o: “Well there goes the middle of the document…” (Ripping SFX)
Kim-o: “So… Whadda we got left?”
Chump-o: “Just this little strip of paper at the bottom where we sign… There’ll be nothing that we agreed to, just our signatures – that’s good enough for the press release!”
Kim-o: “I forgot to tell’a you, I gotta no ink in my pen…”
Chump-o: “Don’t worry about it, as long as we have a deal – Then so long shorty, lotsa luck!”
Kim-o: “Just one’a more’a thing – I getta why this’a skit kind’a Suck, I even getta Why’a no Duck… What I’m a still not’a get is… Why’a you such’a Schmuck??”
I think that both of these goofs are Animal Crackers! Lucky thing for them, there is no Sanity Clause…
Katz might present his idea to Trump and see what happens. Saving the world if it wouldn’t cost [any] money to do so, might appeal to the businessman/president.
Ah, but Katz himself is a “very stable genius…” note his words above, “Just something to do I guess…” Hey, I recognize a weak evasion when I see one! Katz has obviously got something BIG, and bigly profitable, in mind! And if Bunz doesn’t interfere, he’s going to make her two-thousand-plus in Bronco Bux and Hoppy C-notes look like chicken feed! He’s probably planning, secretly, to get out of the crummy, no-future planet-destroying business, say goodbye to his cranky boss, and retire to Silicon Valley!
He could accomplish their mission after all….
AH HA! I was waiting to see if I was ever going to find a Bronco Buck in there somewhere. Anyway… She’s in the money, she’s in the money! She’s got a lot of what it takes to get along! Two words – Vegas Baby! Too bad she has no idea what Vegas is about at all. Having acquired an abundance of the green, paper currency stuff she would probably be mystified at why she should want any more of it. At least we don’t have to worry about bailing out the junker scout craft anymore. Our lovable protagonists might as well apply for permanent Dirtian residency as it seems they’re here for the long haul. They can be dirters… dirtlings? (I always prefered “Terrans” myself.)
Or as one sci-fi author put it “Tellurians” from Tellus.
Never heard of that one. Kinda sounds like Star Trek’s “Tellarites”. Could get confusing… mind if we just call ‘em Bruce?
Please don’t. I was referring to EE doc Smith series The Skylark of space and the lensman series.
S’okay. I was referring to a stupid Monty Python sketch from way back in the day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNBy1D1Y0h4